Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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