Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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