Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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