When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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